Vivian Maier and The Creative Life

I watched a documentary last year about the photographer Vivian Maier, I came across her story by accident and it really intrigued me. Working as a Nanny for 40 years, she was a prolific street photographer in Chicago amassing hundreds of thousands of photos. Her body of work was only discovered after her death by an estate agent called John Maloof who bought a box of her photographs and negatives in a blind auction for $400. Known only as a Nanny during her lifetime she is now considered to be one of the greatest photographers of the 20th century.

Location and date unknown © Estate of Vivian Maier, Courtesy Maloof Collection and Howard Greenberg Gallery, New York

During the documentary someone discussing her work asked ‘Why would she hoard all this great art? Why not share it? What’s the point in taking all of those photo’s if no one’s going to see them?’ That last question stuck with me. As a professional designer the object is always for people to see the results of your creative endeavours, whatever your field of expertise or design practice. That’s just what we do, we create things, things to be sold for practical purposes or pleasure, things to be coveted, things to hang in galleries, to fill ours homes, to wear, to entertain, to educate, things to give meaning to our lives. In that respect it is imperative that people like what we do, the longevity and success of our creative career rests on the opinions of others. It becomes our validation as designers, do others like and want what we have produced? Success is only achieved when the answer is yes.

Of course this was not always the case, throughout my childhood and especially in my teens, I created solely for enjoyment. Just as my Mum had done before me, I spent my spare time, drawing, painting and sewing because I loved it. It gave me pleasure and the only approval I needed was my own. I was aware of my own development. I could see that I was becoming more skilled and accomplished in the mediums I enjoyed working with and that was all the validation I needed.

Location unknown, 1960 © Estate of Vivian Maier, Courtesy Maloof Collection and Howard Greenberg Gallery, New York

There is a part of me that wishes I could go back and experience that sense of creative purpose again, untainted by the realities of following a path in design. As an adult I rarely create just for the enjoyment of it, somewhere along the line I lost that and I’m not sure why that is. However, on the masters I have come as close as I ever will to the pure sense of joy it is possible to feel when pursuing creativity that comes straight from the heart, something of depth and meaning to the individual, something that is allowed to develop at it’s own pace and in it’s own way. And perhaps it has been better to experience that in the context of my career, so that I can appreciate what a rare opportunity it is to create in this way.

Self-portrait, 1975 © Estate of Vivian Maier, Courtesy Maloof Collection and Howard Greenberg Gallery, New York

On this course I have remembered what my Mum never lost sight of, the act of creating can be fulfilment enough and consequently I find myself with a renewed sense of engagement with my work. I have talked a lot about how transformative the masters has been to my design practice but what I’m also starting to realise is just how profoundly it has altered my perception of the purpose of design within my life, personally and professionally. There are many more paths than the one I know, that of the designer maker, all of which I find more appealing than continuing as a commercial textile designer.

In her book Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert advocates treating creativity as a vocation not a career, suggesting that burdening creativity with the need to generate an income, stifles the enjoyment and productiveness of the process. From my own experience I am inclined to agree with this, but we all must do something for a living and that is usually based on our natural abilities. If I was born to be creative, exactly what else am I supposed to do to seek fulfilment or give my life purpose?

Location and date unknown © Estate of Vivian Maier, Courtesy Maloof Collection and Howard Greenberg Gallery, New York

That in reality is what I have started to investigate, exactly where do I place my creativity in the future? Will it be through teaching? Researching? Activism? Participatory events and workshops? Further education? Art? Maybe something that involves all of them. Although uncertainty scares me, it feels exciting to think of the numerous possibilities now open to me as I look beyond the scope of my career as a designer maker.

Recently a friend asked of my plans for the future. ‘What are you going to do next?’ she said, ‘I’m not sure, all I know is I don’t want to be selling things anymore’ I replied, before recounting the aforementioned list of possibilities. ‘But what’s the point? If no ones buying what you make, what’s the point?’

And that right there is the point, to relinquish myself from that form of validation as a designer. The one that pins my self-worth on the purchasing decisions of others. Over time that is what my creativity has become and my project ‘Party Frock’ has reminded me of my own creative purpose and how it feels to pursue that. What it feels like to create something for me amd me alone.

Self-portrait, Chicagoland, October 1975 © Estate of Vivian Maier, Courtesy Maloof Collection and Howard Greenberg Gallery, New York

I can’t speak for Vivian Maier, there could be a million reasons why she kept her work to herself but her story does seem to indicate that to her, photography was a personal act, a method of capturing her powers of observation to document her own life and surroundings. There was a time when I would have considered her story a tragedy, only receiving recognition for her work after her death, a waste of talent. And whilst a part of me still feels that way, the prolific nature of her work suggests she did if for enjoyment and nothing more.

Her job as a Nanny allowed her to pursue her passion alongside her daily responsibilities. The children she cared for, now adults described her as always having a camera in her hand. She was able to keep her creativity pure and for herself, indulging in her craft exactly as she chose, unscathed and uninfluenced by the thoughts, opinions and needs of others.

Chicago 1962 © Estate of Vivian Maier, Courtesy Maloof Collection and Howard Greenberg Gallery, New York

Of course, I don’t know that for sure, she could have spent her life too fearful and insecure to show her work, which really would have been a tragedy, another Van Gogh story to strike fear into the souls of every aspiring artist and designer, but I don’t get that impression. She genuinely just seems to have lead a quite life dedicated to her art and there is something I find lovely about that.